I’m not really a fan of Mother’s Day… I used to sneak out of church early because I didn’t want that empty feeling while I sat, and watched all the mothers stand.
I spent 8 years wrestling with infertility and several miscarriages. Even when I became a mom, I found the holiday awkward. My very first official Mother’s Day was spent wits my son in the NICU, and I was limited by the time I could even touch or hold him.
Being a foster mom adds a whole new level of hard. I love and raise these children, yet I cannot even show their faces or brag about them. I’m their mother, but only while they are in the custody of the state.
And today… well, aside from some presents & a funny card, it was just another ordinary day. I have four kids ranging in age from 2 to 6, and my husband closes his store on Sundays, so it’s just me with the kids all day. And it’s a lot.
Needs don’t stop because this is a special day. Tantrums still happen. One of my kids poured pee on the floor, TWICE. And nothing especially magical happened.
But, because I’ve been the aching-to-be woman, the mourning woman, the overwhelmed woman… I do know that where I am, right now, is the envy of others… and that I longed for these kids, knowing full well life would be a bit crazy! So, bottom line, this day is just another day…. But in a life I love, and have fought for at times.
So that makes it pretty special. Every day.
~ Naomi
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